finding the magic

while out shopping with ray for a tree to put up in his apartment, i fell in love with a little three foot artificial tree and bought it for my place. i started getting really sentimental while walking up and down the aisles of the store looking for tinsel, lights, and ornaments. i used to *love* christmas, before i became sick of being bombarded with its crass commercialism. for the past few years, i've been searching for meaning in christmas aside from the pressures of the glorified gift exchange. since i don't particularly celebrate christmas as a religious holiday, trying to find meaning in the songs and sentiment of the season has become more difficult as well. and here in california, i'm reluctant at times to embrace christmas at the risk of not being inclusive or offending someone by being "jesus-centric." so the significance of this time of year has eroded to somewhat of a generic winter celebration.

in the aftermath of the election, while i'm still figuring out what it means to me to be a u.s. american, i recognize that i've alienated myself from old traditions that, once re-embraced, still fit me like a snug coat. today, for a moment in the store, i felt that magic that i used to feel about christmas - the possibilities, togetherness, and excitement. it's okay to push aside the commercialism of the season, but i don't have to throw out the good and cheesy things too. and now as i look at the multicolored lights blinking on my little tree, i'll try to remember those things as the season progresses.

there's still one christmas song that i'll steadfastly refuse to sing, though!