getting into the groove

my upcoming 20th year high school reunion has brought on a wave of musical nostalgia. anyone who knew me in the 80's (like my family members) knows that i was a HUGE fan of madonna, who has now reached icon status. i had a big collage of photos of her on my dorm room wall, read every article about her that i could get my hands on, had all of her albums, wore the black rubber bracelets, and even did a college paper on "the power of madonna: boy toy or boy as toy?" but all that came to an abrupt end with the rise in my political consciousness and her co-opting voguing for mass (i.e. "white mainstream") consumption, and fifteen years have passed since i’ve paid attention to her.

one night a few weeks ago, i decided that i just had to hear her first album (yes, some of us still call a collection of music an "album"), so i got a used cd - remastered, no less - from the record store. blasting it while driving home, i remembered all of the words and feelings that came when i first learned the songs, taking me back to memories of my friendship with a certain “bryce” (not his real name), on whom i had a big, big crush as a high school junior.

bryce introduced me to madonna when he, asking if i’d ever heard of her, wanted to get a poster of this hot new punkish singer. i, willing to do anything to be in the good graces of the handsome, olive-skinned bryce, called all the record stores in town, and no one knew anything about madonna - hard to believe that now, huh? finally, i went to the public library and found a trade ad featuring her new release in billboard magazine, which i ripped out (and still feel guilty about doing so) and presented to bryce.

madonna was the first cassette tape that i ever bought (which i still have!). using madonna as my muse and "front," i sang her lyrics to express what i wanted to say from the confines of the adolescent closet – “i’m burnin up/burnin up for your love...you betta think of me/i know you want to baby/think of me...you just keep on pushin my love over the borderline...”

for years “desperately seeking susan” reigned as my favorite movie. like the roberta glass character played by rosanna arquette, i wanted to be something different than who i was, something fabulous and free and fierce. deep in my gut i knew that life had to be more exciting than what i was privy to as a queeny greeny teenager in the suburban south. madonna, both as the title character in the movie and as herself, represented the self-assured, adventurous spirit that i sought to be. plus, "into the groove” is still one of my all-time favorite jams.

i have many good memories of 80’s madonna. yet, when i finally had the chance to see her live on the blonde ambition tour in1990, her bitchiness with the audience and my disillusionment with her whitewashing of voguing effectively ended my status as a fan. but this album, madonna, will always be the soundtrack to my self-awakening. everybody/c’mon dance and sing/everybody/get up and do your thang...