putting pieces together

today was my father's birthday. he would've been 68. that sure does seem young to no longer have him around. he's been on my mind for a number of reasons, which have prompted me to privately record some of my thoughts about him. at one point, i got upset and had to stop, but i'm mostly fascinated by the challenge of trying to round out his image in my mind.

after his funeral two years ago, when my siblings and i were cleaning out his place, i was struck by how relatively little i knew about my father. he was a difficult man to get to know. nevertheless, he was human, and i'm trying to capture that humanity, the good, bad, and ugly, for the sake of my memories of him. i'm not trying to alter the past, but trying to understand and forgive it.

i remember him today.